Break my stride

Today I didnt go to work today...mostly bc I am sick - how so?
Well, it's a variety of reasons...mainly bc the heat is oppressive...I think the humidity hates me.
Well that may be a strong word. I think it actually tries to break me down. It is trying to make me a failure and simply put - Failure is not an option.

Heat Wave

Ok, it has been over 90 for what it seems like an eternity.
I haven't been out the house since Friday, except to go to church yesterday. I then ran back home. I know the heat/humidity affects everyone differently - and good golly miss molly - its kickin my butt.
I am going to have to stay cool for now. Actually its gotten so bad that I will have to call out sick today from work. I've always been the one to be the 1st up in work. I arrive 30mins early b/c that is what I was just taught.
Not today my friend.

2010 - Update

Soooooo it's like I checked out and never came back on.
Well, first and utmost - I am doing well. I am blessed to be in good health and a good mood.
I promised a coworker - Q.D. that I will post something at least once a week, since I simply haven't posted. I need to use this blog, for what I originally started for. To bring to light to those like me, who have MS, or any other disability.

Sometimes, when you are young, urban...you may feel like there isn't as much information available to you as others.

So first things first, I did attend the 2010 MS Walk, at Liberty State Park in Jersey City. It was beautiful! Kinda of brisk, but beautiful nevertheless.
I felt so good after the walk, inspired by all of those who have MS that wasn't able to walk.
I had a great team of walkers with me that included coworkers - former and current - and of course my great-Uncle.
Even though some people couldn't show up, it was appreciated that they even thought about it.

New Drug Approved for Walking with MS

So I've been experiencing some emotional waves recently. I've been having a lot of pain recently. I have to remain positive about it, b/c I feel regardless my feelings will truly help me with pain-management.
I decided to go to the National MS Society's website, so I can register my team - Young Urban & MS or Lena's Angels...I still dont know. I got side tracked when I saw the news alert that a new drug was recently approved for all types of MS.
Seems interesting enough - if anything bothered me the most about me having MS was the fact, my walking has been affected.

http://www.nationalmssociety.org/news/news-detail/index.aspx?nid=2586

Marijuana Legalize in New Jersey...

I was reading this on the Roc4Life site. I have heard about it on the news, I never really gave it much thought. I just felt that suffering from the pain that is caused by multiple sclerosis is just something I just have to deal with. There are others who are dealing with much more. I just pray for strength and pop some Advil (Aleve simply doesn't work - and I am afraid of the Tylenol Arthritis Strength since it was recalled).
So anyway, how are jobs located in NJ going to handle this? If they give you drug tests before you start, and now you have marijuana in the system? LOL
But I know "they" - the gov't/employer is going to make it such that no you can't smoke a joint before you drive - shoooo - I myself dont want to even think of it.
But I guess my thought is that it is good for those who are suffering from chronic illnesses and are in pain, because I guess "popping Advils" aint for everyone and it can't be all that good.

So What Now?

I feel real crappy today, there are times when my mind is like "WHOA!! - you got this!" but then at the same time my legs wanna throw me down. I cried when I tried to walk up the stairs at my house. I just felt helpless and if anyone knows me is that I hate to feel helpless. The only person helping me is my son. He had to help me lift my leg. I really feel like this MS is bullsh*t...I dislike it so much right now.
Usually, I would just shake it off - but today was different. I know when I go to sleep after taking meds, I will have to start all over again...and I will be ok.
I will get over it, I just got to sum up all my positive strength and it WILL be just fine.
I really need a stiff drink...lol. I really do.
Wait, I got a bottle of wine, I will open that.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Normally I would do the "resolutions" and this year when a friend asked me what are my resolutions, I simply replied that I won't do resolutions - only commitments.
I will commit, not necessarily in this order:

Become debt-free
Go to physical therapy
Keep up with Rebif therapy (so far so good, feeling ok...)
Take vitamins (already taking B-12 for energy)
For Sean & I to take a vacation - just mommy and the lil prince time
Become more willing to accept compliments.

Recently I was told that I was an inspirational, bc I do so much considering I am disabled. I was taken back by it. I just feel that I do what I do bc there is no other option. Yeah I work when I dont feel well bc I didnt hit that Mega Millions yet. LOL. Truthfully, I will still work if I did hit.

And finally, like everyone else - ROMANCE...yeah I said it...I need to work on finding someone who is worthy of me. I believe its my time, this is the year.
I am even going to go out, maybe do some speed dating. Shoo I got my pink crutches


Holla!