Summertime!

Summertime is here and first time in a while I'm excited.  I'm getting around more and it feels good.  My son went away with friends to a theme park and I was alone.  And you know what?  I did well.  I got up and down with no help and got in my scooter.  Holla! 😆
Saw fireworks from my bedroom windows and pretty much chilled for past couple of days. 🎆
Now I'm waiting for the boy to come home tonight.  I do miss him but he's growing up and want him to feel like a normal kid.
I've been looking at these suprapubic catheter for like a month. I will write my feelings on this later.

Yeah whatever

Allergies are a raggedy ole creepy thing. Ever since moving my allergies just rage. And I had a slight cold...no fever. Just runny nose so it probably was just allergies.
I'm actually hoping for a nice summer. I'm going to try my best to get out there more definitely.  Screw sunlight and sunburn.

Falling in love with...

Today I fell. Well more like my legs/knees tightened up and gave out. I was getting into my SUV. Normally I just have a person (my teenage son) help me to get up initially from the scooter.  I stand up, twist and push my toosh on to the seat and I push back with his help. Boom then I'm in seat ready to drive. 
As I started to slip all I could drive was hold on to the steering wheel.  Some ladies came to help then a gentleman.  Finally I was able to push back in seat.  I was very thankful and grateful for their help. And after I got settled I cried like a baby. I was crying bc how helpless I was. This MS got to me today. The first in such a long time. It made me plead/cry/yell at my son that he needs to pay attention to me. Stick by my back. Don't get frozen and scared! After the tears I just have to let him know I don't blame him, but be there.
I'm just afraid that I was confronted with this is what my life could be headed. And I don't like it.  Shyt I'm not going to accept it.

Missing

As I sit and watch movies. I remember walking. I miss it so much. I miss just jumping up and walking. Hell I miss just standing...on my own. Miss doing things with no one's help. Miss running and dancing.
This too shall pass.

MS and Sexuality

Something of a quiet whisper. 
"How do you feel? "
"Does it bother you? "
"Can you still...do it? "
Not that any of this has been said to me personally, but often when I read group pages/blogs that subject has come up.
It is something that we often forget as humans that we are sexual creatures we will still crave that touch.
What does one do when they are disabled?
Because quite frankly not all men are so open to it. They say it doesn't matter. But they are visual creatures and some do not like idea of wheelchair/scooter. There are even those who leave after finding out about diagnosis.
And there are those who have a fetish (yes...a fetish)
I'm not convinced about online dating either.  You say about diagnosis and they stop.  You say it in your profile, you are never picked.
So alas, it's about acceptance of the multiple sclerosis yet again.

School Concert

So I ventured out for first time in over a week to my son's school concert where he was playing the trumpet.  All of the kids did very well and I was very impressed.  This was the first time outside with this new scooter which did well also.  Overall pretty happy with it.

The Pool

Sometimes you are alone,  even when you aren't actually.  You may have family and friendsaand social media,  but sometimes it just be like that. Last week the pool opened in complex where I live. It was like 90 degrees at least. My son jumped in and I really wanted to do the same. Because it was my first time in this particular pool I felt like I had to scope out the place.  A few of my neighbors are disabled also so I wondered if they got in also, but 'lo and behold I saw one pull up in her wheelchair.
I sat back with amazement. There were two life guards who picked her up and placed oh so gentle in a chair in pool. "Yippee" I wanted to yell!
I wanted to scoot my butt upstairs and change. LOL.

So I figured what I will do is that when I want to swim I will either scoot to edge and have one of them walk me along edge. I'm actually excited.  My Pisces soul was telling me to stop trying to clip her fins.
I know my son will be excited for me. Its going to be likr water therapy.