Its been a while since I felt this way

Its been quite a few months year...that I felt the way I did when I woke. I was eager and ready to go. Yeah it was cool, there was no wind coming up off that Hudson to my left. I got to work pretty early and I was eager to get upstairs and work.
I promised a co-worker that I would bring my crutches upstairs as part of my new year resolution, so I guess no more being lazy and riding the scooter everywhere.
Damn her! Nah...I'm kidding. I have to do it.
Its like FSA - either you use it or lose it (stupid payroll joke)...so I will walk dangit.

So I've been moody recently regarding my love life or lack thereof.
I know its only a matter of time before I meet and find someone worthy, but there are just some days where its just...this.

Merry Christmas!

not much to say but i'm thankful for all of those in my life - whether good or bad.
i've learned so much this year about myself and others. my relationships have made me stronger and i finally have come to realize this.
i will be back by new year's eve to put down my goals -  not necessarily resolutions, but my  new life goals.
i absolutely can not wait to go to church on sunday!

7 little steps...

I've realized now that I have issues with the extremes...the extreme humidity and extreme cold. Normally I like the cool weather, my joints feel good and I can move.
Today, its so cold outside and I hurt like its 105degrees. It took me more time than I expected to go up these 7 little steps. Felt like forever.

Rebif

Whew! first 2 weeks done...
I've been out of commission,  not because I wanted too but had to rest up.
Once I started with the Rebif shots again, it made me seriously tired - often within an hour of taking the shot. I guess it could be that after taking it, I just sat around on the computer or watching tv.
In comparison to the Betaseron, I am ecstatic that I am back on it. I am sure my attitude has a lot to do with it also, since I gained so much weight while on Betaseron...even though I wasn't eating that much.
Today is B R I C K outside - lol - so I am going to try my very best to get outside today, plus I have no sitter for "the boy" and I want to go to this party from my friend's hubby. I really want to go...crutches and scooter be damned...I want to go.

MS Walk 2010

Last year, I participated in the MS Walk for the first time since my diagnosis in 2007.
I had many feelings about it - you see I didn't want to accept the fact that I had MS, I didn't want to think that this was a death sentence, there was so many don'ts, hates, wondering why me? that went on.
Not that I don't go throught it still occassionally - that could be that I am not dating anyone right now (another issue...)
Once I did the walk, I walked away from it in a whole new light. I was happy, enthusiastic, overall felt a release about it. I am so going to be there next year with my newly named team (last year was Lena's Angels) Y.U & MS...I've already got a person lined up for tshirts, I've already told my family they better get their butts to me for the walk...sheeeeit. They better.

Here is some pictures from last year.

Talk MS

On November 18^th, MS in Balance^SM will release a new online video: It’s a Marathon: Strategies to Help Maintain Your Treatment Regimen

In just 30 minutes, you will hear a MS LifeLines Nurse roundtable discussion of why it’s important to stay on therapy.

This Talk MS program will feature special guests, including:

	Kathleen Costello, MS, CRNP, MSCN
	MS LifeLines&reg Ambassador Elizabeth

Don't miss your opportunity to talk MS!

Join Talk MS on November 18^th for your chance to submit a question to a physician, who may answer it in a future event!

	register today
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P.S. Do you want to learn more about MS LifeLines Nurses?

Join Talk MS for It’s a Marathon: Strategies to Help Maintain Your Treatment Regimen to learn more!

Happy Thanksgiving

I am thankful for having such a great son, he is my joy and brings me love everyday. When this MS seems to take me by the throat and I seem to be suffocating, my boy says the most simplest things that makes me realize that I've got this already beaten - LOL.
Thankful for all the friends and people I've encountered.
And most of all, I thank God for allowing me to breathe every morning to see the sky and feel the breeze.

Fatigue

This ENTIRE week, I have been so out of it. I don't know if I am trying to get used to the time change or what it is, but the fatigue is C R A Z Y. I get home, and after I get my son something to eat <<< I'm lieing, he takes his tv dinner out of freezer and microwaves it- I just hit the bed. It would be 8:30pm and I'm in the bed like a senior citizen. Honestly tho, I am up pretty early but I think its b/c I'm just in bed so early.
I did go to the church dinner on Tuesday but I was still home by 9pm- in bed within 20mins.
I have been drinking some Starbucks instant coffee (VIA) for 2 days just to keep me up. And we already know I shouldn't have any caffeine. *kicking rocks* but I was like Pooky(newjackcity) and "it be calling me" I haven't ask the doctor for anything for the fatigue, I'm just going to see what I can find online about something natural.
I can't do the physical threrapy if I'm tired...I guess I'm using that as an excuse.
Well they are going to put the handicap poles up in front of my house - YIPPEE! well within the next couple of weeks, so hopefully by end of month.
And the Rebif should be here on Monday- I wont start that until next week.

Been a while

Been a while since I  took the Rebif www.mslifelines.com and guess what? They called me today so I can give them some brief information before they start sending it to me again.
I genuinely can't wait to start this therapy again, for several reasons:

• muscle stiffness
• having virtually no headaches compared to BetaSeron
• oh yeah...no more bloatedness << is that a word?

 When I took the Beta Seron, I had headaches I couldn't believe. Not to say I always had them, because I didn't but about 2 months in, I felt like my head was going to explode.

Knowing when to stop

This is one thing...I just don't know when to stop. I got up pretty early and went up to the Bronx, then to Old Navy...and I haven't even eaten the entire day - - I just run and run...
Last night I went to bed @ like 8:30pm...just too tired to function. I did sneak in a phone call though - my friend cheered me up and then I slept like a baby.
On Sunday when I get up, I know and feel like I need to go to church. And you know what? I went. I felt good when I did.
I feel that going to church - Christ Fellowship in Elizabeth, NJ - is so inspirational. So I got to keep that attitude way beyond Sunday..Monday..even Thursday.
So keeping a positive attitude about this whole "MS thingy" lol will keep me upright and keep me going

Beta Seron Withdrawal

So I think Im honestly going through some withdrawal symptoms. I stopped taking the BetaSeron last Wednesday b/c I've been hurting something fierce.
I was only on it since July consistently (well except for that week in September). This morning, I woke up with a HUGE headache, my body ached. I went to work, took a couple of Motrin and worked thru a daze.
So I decided that I'm going thru a withdrawal.
I see Dr Falivena - MS Doctor on Friday, so I will be requesting to change me back to the Rebif.
We shall see!

Hmmmm Young Urban...

I've often wondered on how I've come across so many blogs and pages dedicated to MS and they don't appeal to me.
Why? don't you have MS? don't you have the same symptoms?
Well yeah I have MS, MS does not have me. Most of the blogs I've seen seem well...such a downer. The forums I've come across is full of people with the "Oh woe is me..." attitude...I don't have time for that.
I'm young, I'm urban (well aint like I live in the hood of the hood...its more attitude - LOL) and I just happen to have this disease.
I still listen to the same music - such a huge hip-hop fan - I still drive, I still work (who gonna do it for me?). I still date (or at least want too if I can get my nerves up - but we will get to that on another time).
My attitude/motto is "Brush your shoulders off"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KFIR5MgsG70

When I have those a lil harder days I remember this...